Don't Run From Me
by Alwaysgurl2013
Summary: Kate Beckett has told herself that she would never run from this relationship. But if it comes down to running to save her husband from LokSat, she would do it to keep him safe. A 8x02 XX ending rewrite


Standing in the living room watching her husband sprinkle marshmallows and chocolate chips into the frying pan, she can't help but smile to herself at the domestic Rick she loves so much. She will do anything to keep him safe, even if it means running from him- something she had promised herself she wasn't going to do in this relationship. Anything to keep this man in front of her alive, even if it means removing herself from the equation.

"Hey! How about breakfast for dinner? I'm making smorelettes. Which is technically dessert for dinner, but we-" Rick cuts himself off noticing the bag at her feet, a bag that she would have no reason to pack at the moment."You going somewhere?" Kate's eyes can't make eye contact with his and he knows something is wrong before she even says anything.

"I'm sorry." She pauses. "I love you so much."

"What are you doing?"

"I have to go."

"Why?"

"I, I have to get my head right. I have to figure some things out so that … we can have a happily ever after."

"Where's this coming from? Is it because of your AG team? Is it Bracken? Why are you giving up on our marriage?" At this point, the smorelette is abandoned on the stove as he moves closer to where the woman he loves stands. He doesn't want anymore space between them after the past two days. But even standing right across from her, he feels a million miles away.

"I'm trying to save it."

"By leaving me?" Her silence doesn't give him the answer he needs. "Look, if you have a problem, we have a problem. That's how this works."

"No, Castle, not this time."

"Whatever it is, Beckett, we can figure it out. Like always." The tears in her eyes scare him more than the situation does. The Beckett a couple years ago that would have run at any moment and wouldn't have shared things with him, she never would have cried. This was Kate in front of him, trying not to cry, running to protect him. But why?

"Rick, do you trust me?" How could she doubt that?

"Of course." He wants to reassure her, but doesn't know how to.

"I need you to trust me now. I have to do this on my own. And when it's done I just, I hope that, I hope that you'll have room in your heart to take me back."

"You know, before Bracken was killed he told me you'd never be happy just being my wife. Please do not tell me that son of a bitch knew you better than I do." The words leave his mouth with anger and he can't help but plead to every god he can think of that he's wrong. And he prays silent thank yous when she shakes her head.

"I love you."She pulls his head in between her hands to kiss his lips one last time. "I always will. Forgive me." She turns away and grabs her bag. Leaving the door open behind her as she walks out into the hallway, she only makes it a few steps before she has to stop and collect herself. She tries to stifle the sob as Rick is left in their loft hoping she'll come back while their dinner burns. What could have happened between her promising him no more secrets and now to make her leave? He had watched her limp off towards the office before pulling her back towards him then, so why couldn't he pull her back to him now?

No. Kate has always decided where their relationship was allowed to go, when they could run and when they were stopping. This time he's deciding. "Kate!" He runs out the open door and sees Kate looking back towards the apartment with tears running down her face. "No." He pulls his wife, his partner back into his arms.

"Castle-"

"No. You're not going to push me aside. You want time? Fine you can have it but whatever it is that is upsetting you is clearly not worth you running off tonight. So tonight you stay and talk with me. Tell me what is going on. Because you promised me no more secrets. This isn't our marriage that's scaring you. I know you Kate. This is something else, and if you want to go after something else, fine, but you're bringing me too."

"Castle, I can't-"

"Kate, no more secrets." And Kate's eyes tell him more than the entire speech she gave him inside the loft. "You promised no more secrets and there is something that you're keeping from me and it scares you more than you want to tell me. You said that losing me for 8 weeks last year gave you the right to ask me to trust you and I did. But Kate you also told me no more secrets and yet here we are with the secret count trying to tick off again. I don't want us to have secrets from each other. I want to tell you everything. So if this is some secret spy mission that you can only tell one person and you're trying to decide who that one person can be or you've found the last of a long line a family jewels and you are trying to find the best place to hide it, I want it to be me that you discuss it all with, not be the person you hide it from."

"Rick, I'm scared of losing you."

"Stay and you won't lose me Kate. But I lost you for 36 hours and I don't know how much longer I can go without you. I've almost lost you down rabbit holes with your mom's case multiple times and I was right there with you. This feels different because you won't let me stay with you."

"Rick, I need to not lose you either, but that means I need to keep you safe."

"Then don't go after whatever it is that is threatening you and me, because I'm not letting you go. You can walk out of this apartment, but I will show up at the precinct, the crime scenes. I'll come back to shadowing you at the department-"

"Rick, please." Kate's full on crying at this point and Rick can't take it. Even as he holds her so close to him, he wishes he could pull her in tighter. "Don't threaten things like that. I need to leave for your safety."

"Are you wearing a bomb Kate?" Kate lets out a wet laugh and shakes her head knowing where her childish husband is going with this. "If you're not wearing a bomb and you won't explain, then I'll be with you until you feel safe again. But I'd rather you just talk to me. We work better when we're together." Rick takes a deep breath. "Just tell me one thing Kate. Was it really our marriage?" Kate closes her eyes not wanting to see the look on Rick's face when she says the one syllable.

"No."

"Then why did you throw out as your excuse? Kate, I knew how much it took you, how much it took us to get to a place where we both felt ready to be married. Why try to break that up?" Kate looks at her husband and almost wishes she hadn't as she watches him shatter before he mutters, "I can't lose you to a divorce too Kate."

"Rick, I love you, I do, but I need you to trust me please. And I need to not be here right now."

"Kate, if you walk away, don't come back." Rick's arms let go of her and she has to decide once and for all if this obsession, this need that's inside of her is really worth losing her husband over. He chased her out of the apartment. He threatened to follow her, to protect her, to not let her throw away their marriage, and yet she couldn't stop it. So now she's pushed him to his breaking point.

"Rick if they find out I'm still pursuing this, LokSat will kill you because I love you." The recognition in his eyes is all too familiar.

"Kate, you didn't have to push me away for real. We could fake a break up you know. I love you and if making it seem like we're not together is the best way to do this than, I'll do it for you, but I need you to be honest with me."

"Rick, I want to keep you safe. I would die if I lost you."

"And you think I wouldn't walk through a tornado or something worse for you?" Rick's eyes plead with her and she knows she needs to make a decision right here right now.

"Rick, our relationship is the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't want to lose this. If doing this together is the only way for us to fight LokSat, then I'm in it with you." And Rick pulls Kate in for a searing kiss as he knows he isn't losing his wife to anyone.


End file.
